


For Better or Worse

by TheElusiveDabbler (I_Write_Tragedies_Not_Sins)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gift_Fic, Secret_Santa_Surprise, Shenko - Freeform, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Write_Tragedies_Not_Sins/pseuds/TheElusiveDabbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a gift fic for the secret santa exchange in the Mass Effect Fanfic group. The pairing my giftee likes best is Shenko and they loved fluffy smut, so here's my best attempt at both!</p><p>Chapter Two is an extra bonus smutty thing since I was so late in gifting this to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LauraEMoriarty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraEMoriarty/gifts).



> Dear Giftee: Smut is not my genre. And fluff is a struggle. I know it's not super fluffy, but it's a little feelsy fluffy maybe? I hope you enjoy regardless!

Kaidan watches as Shepard stands over their kitchen counter, her left hand rolling out cookie down. Her right hand is gone, lost in the final battle against the Reapers. They had been certain Earth was doomed, that the galaxy was lost again to another brutal cycle, but Shepard had saved all their asses. Again. But she has lost so much in return.

He continues to watch as she furrows her bright red brows together, struggling with rolling the dough out. "Fuck," she mumbles as the rolling pin slips from her fingers and crashes to the floor along with the dough.

Tears well up her eyes. She slams her fist down on the counter, sending flour everywhere. It sticks to her clothes and hair, turning the red strands a dusty grayish colour. Kaidan pushes away from the wall he's leaning against and tries to put his arms around. She flinches, pushing him away with her left arm. She keeps the right one tucked in close to her body, her shirt sleeve falling long to cover where her arm ended at her elbow."Don't," she whispers, voice wavering.

"Shepard-" he begins, but she shakes her head, backing away from him.

Her foot gets caught in the cookie dough and she slips, landing on her butt. Her eyes open wide in surprise as she sits there on their kitchen floor, covered in flour, cookie dough stuck to her foot. She looks oddly cute, but Kaidan keeps that comment to himself, not sure how she'll take it. Her mouth is open in a small "o" before she starts to giggle. His own lips twitch upwards as she sits there, her giggling turning into laughter. He kneels down and wipes some of the the floor from her cheek.

"Can I help?" he asks, smiling tenderly at her. Her face is as beautiful as ever, though a scar now runs the length of his hand across her right cheek. But it doesn't change her beauty, not to Kaidan. No, to him she is still as beautiful as the day he first met her aboard the Normandy all those years ago.

She smiles at him, lips wavering a little, but any smile is better than no smile these days. "Yes," she replies, grabbing a hold of his hand with hers. "I'm sorry..." she starts, but trails off, looking down at her knees.

He grabs her chin with his other hand. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Kathryn," he whispers, gently brushing his lips against hers. "I'm the one who's sorry. If I had been there-"

She cuts him off with a deeper kiss, pressing her lips harder against his. He parts his lips and she slips in her tongue, dancing against his, and he begins to grow hard in response. "Kathryn..." he murmurs into her mouth.

"It's not your fault," she mumbles before kissing him again. "I can't stand it if you blame yourself, Kaidan."

He pulls away, brushing his nose against hers. "Alright. Let's not blame ourselves then, either one of us."

She smiles, their noses still touching. "Deal." She sighs then, a soft puff of air that slides along his skin. "I'm covered in flour," she half-grumbles.

Kaidan twirls a piece of her hair between his fingertips as he watches her face. Her dark freckles stand out against her skin, even under the flour, and her bright golden-yellow eyes gleam with specks of brown. "Well, a shower would cure you of that," he suggests, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Shepard bursts out laughing, a deep throaty sound from deep within. It brings a smile to Kaidan's face to see her laughing so genuinely. This last year, since the Reaper Invasion was stopped, has been filled with tears and nightmares with little laughter in between. Suddenly, she stops laughing and stares at him intently, her steady gaze drinking him in. "I don't understand," she mutters, so soft Kaidan barely catches it.

He raises a brow at her, leaning back to balance on the balls of his feet. "What don't you understand?" he asks.

She takes a deep breath, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'm... broken. I'm scarred and missing parts, not just of my body but of my soul. I'm not the girl you fell in love with anymore. The Kathryn you swore to love was happy, and optimistic. She smiled and laughed and could make a simple batch of fucking cookies," she replies, voice shaking as she continues. "How can you possibly still want me when _I_ can't even stand me?"

Kaidan feels his heart clench in pain at her words. He wants to erase her pain and sadness, take away all the hurt and fear and loneliness she's felt fighting this stupid fucking war practically by herself. He wants to go back in time to that day on Horizon when he had shouted at her, blamed her, and told her he could never trust her again. Because of course he trusts her. Because of course he always has. "You're still the same Kathryn Shepard I've always loved. We all change, but I haven't stopped loving the person you're changing into. You're still strong, and brave as hell. Your laughter still makes me smile. Shit, Shepard, I still want you just as bad as I wanted you that first time." He pauses to take a breath, running his fingers through his dark black hair. "You remember that night? Before Ilos? Hell, I'll never forget it. Come here," he continues, holding his hand out to her.

She hesitates before taking it, her hand feeling so small in his. He pulls her closer until they're a breath apart. "Can you feel how much I want you?" he murmurs, lips almost touching hers, as he places her hand against his erection. 

Her eyelids flutter shut, lips parting. "Yes," she murmurs. "But-"

He cuts her off by molding his lips with hers, putting all of his love and desire into this one kiss. She moans into his mouth and he grips the back of her head, tilting it for a better angle. He pulls back, breathless. "I love you, Kathryn Shepard. For better or worse, remember?" 


	2. Shower Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a little bit of smut. I'm pretty sure I died from blushing while writing this, but here it is. I'm usually an angst and tragedy writer, so I hope I made this fluffy/smutty enough for you. :) Sorry again for being so late.

Kaidan lifts Shepard up by her hips. She wraps her long, well muscled legs around his waist, and the feel of her gripping him makes him grow harder as the hot water beats down on his back. He runs his hand across the hard planes of her stomach, tracing up to trail a finger between her cleavage and then to circle her nipple. She bites her lip, moaning softly, and leans her head back. 

She murmurs his name but the sound blends into the pounding of the shower water. He pinches her nipple, drawing a gasp from her lips as her eyes fly open. "Kaidan," she moans, breathless.

He dips his head down to suck in her breast between his teeth, playing with the harden nipple as Shepard squirms in his arms. She tastes of honey and cinnamon with hints of flour. Her hand grips the back of his head, fingers tangled in his wet hair. Her other arm rests against his as water runs down her body, glistening in the dimmed lights."More, now," she murmurs, wiggling her hips.

He grins to himself, adjusting their bodies so that the tip of his erection is rubbing against her entrance. His body shudders at the sensation. She squirms, clearly wanting more, but he doesn't enter her right away. He places a finger over her nub, rubbing it in fast, sure strokes that make Shepard's eyelids close and her head lean back. She tries to say his name, but can only get out a sound halfway between a shout and a moan as her climax hits her.

When she leans back up, eyes lidded and full of lust, he slowly begins to push himself inside her. She bites her lips, eyes fluttering closed again. "More. Harder. Please," she gets out, voice feathery and far away.

He obliges, keeping a steady rhythm as the hot water continues to cover them both. "Kathyrn," he moans, looking into her eyes.

She kisses him, wrapping her arm around his neck and pressing her body as close as it will get to his. "I love you, Kaidan," she whispers as she climaxes again.

And those words send him over the edge, too, and he joins her, shouting her name to the ceiling as he holds onto the woman he's always loved. His Shepard, his soldier, his partner, his wife.

"I love you, Shepard."


End file.
